The Road So Far…
When I was little, I told my parents I wanted to be a writer.
We just set up a brand new desktop computer, outfitted with Windows98, when I asked if I could start an advice column on the Internet. I was 8, so I was promptly told no.
But I want to help people and I love writing!!
Turns out, the Internet is dangerous, and writing isn’t a “real” career, so I needed to find something else to do.
So began my rebellion against the society that told me I couldn’t be a writer.
For the next 10 years, I worked in the school newspaper offices, collecting bylines and reporting the hard-hitting news of a suburban school district: the dangers of smoking on school busses; the cafeteria menu; and how sharing a password sparked a 911 call and an arrest on campus.
When I applied to college, I dreamed of following the footsteps of Rory Gilmore and Christiane Amanpour. Let’s be real for a second, the chances of me becoming a world-renowned war correspondent were about equal to me becoming a fictional character attending Yale.
To me, it made sense. I’d get to fulfill the dreams of the 8-year-old who wanted to help people and write. And, it’s a real job. I beat the system!
During my time at Stony Brook University, I fell in love with campus life. I spent days and nights learning about people and cultures, following my desire to understand them and to help mentor incoming students.
… I partied a lot. With a lot of different groups of people.
Mentorship came in the form of Sunday dinners as a Resident Assistant, cooking chicken parm and pasta while sneaking red wine to my crew of freshman boys. That’s a story for another day, but looking back, it was those moments that helped me learn how to meet people where they’re at and sparked my interest in mental health.
I wrote and produced enough in college to pass and to intern with multiple news outlets during my four years. What I couldn’t see at the time was the lack of passion I had for the subjects. I pressed forward, believing that once I had a “real job” it would be better.
Let’s spare the details here: it didn’t get better. I spent the first 3 years out of college miserable. First, I was hired at my local daily newspaper where my editor clocked in at 9pm and expected edits and updates by 1am. I lasted three weeks.
On my lunch break one day, I decided to wander around a bookstore instead of crying in my car. Without hesitation, I found myself walking up to the manager and asking for a job. She asked me what I read, and then hired me on the spot. I put in my notice at the paper, where I was met with, “Well, let’s be honest here, you weren’t going to make it through your probationary period anyway.”
So I hid at the bookstore for the next 6 months, until I received a call from a weekly paper known for hiring Stony Brook grads. I figured having an editor with experience training cub reporters would help me fall in love with the thing listed on my $30,000 degree.
I spent the next two years being berated, torn down, and written off. The shred of self-esteem and confidence I had in my writing and reporting ability after failing at the daily paper were incinerated.
When I gave my notice, my boss was shocked and didn’t understand why I didn’t want to continue in the news business. I hid in another bookstore, this time by the beach, and read every single self-help and spiritual book I could in between dusting shelves and helping rich grandmas find appropriate stories for their grandchildren.
A few months later, I got married and moved from the Hamptons to Raleigh, North Carolina.
Starting over in Raleigh consisted of one scam door-to-door sales job; two waitressing gigs; a slow-to-start social media marketing company; and a full-time, benefits-free position at a small insurance office.
During this time, personal problems within my marriage clouded any career aspirations or clarity, but I did learn to hustle, to be financially creative, and to rely on persuasive communication to get by.
We lasted 8 months in Raleigh before coming back up to Connecticut, where I continued in insurance sales for the next two years.
So, to recap, at this point, my special skills include:
Writing
Sales
Avoiding bills
Reading self-help books to escape reality
Cliche aside, reading personal growth and spiritual books kept me going. While my marital life fell apart, I turned to the teachings of many spiritual lightworkers to fill the void. I dove into courses on energetics, empathy, Oracle card reading, abundance mindset, and connection.
These teachings grounded me and gave me purpose, until I put my trust in the wrong practice and a naive teacher.
After my divorce, I wanted to better understand how and why people use manipulative tactics to get what they want. I thought if I better understood the work behind the scenes, I could help others avoid being targeted.
I signed up for a program that my intuition told me was misguided and harmful. My intuition was right, and I ended up retraumatized and left to compose myself alongside the “facilitators” of the “certification” program. Let’s be clear: these women were not trauma-informed and could have done a lot more damage if I did not have additional resources available.
In this moment, I knew I wanted to help coaches, healers and facilitators lead these programs with integrity and in safe containers for their students. It became my mission to learn more about the intersection between traditional mental health education, spiritual practices, and personal development.
I enrolled in Post University’s Masters of Science in Counseling Human Services program to further understand the nuances of mental health and the responsibility of therapists, counselors, mentors, coaches and leaders.
This is the foundation of Alignment Wingwoman. I work with transformational leaders who lead with love, integrity, and the desire to better the world. My clients are held to the highest standard when developing their messaging and content because I believe all leaders in this space should be, and they also deserve to have assistance and accountability along the way.
Together, we create content, courses, keynotes, blogs, workbooks and complete books that help inspire, empower and motivate others to rise to their fullest potential within safe containers.
This work embodies every piece of what little me wanted to do…to help people and write words.
Thank you for being a part of making her dream come true.